I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
