if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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