We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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