Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
