The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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