It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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