They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
