wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
