i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
