My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
