I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
