return my video game
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
