Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
