you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
dude. I can hear the air.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
