she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
