No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's never too late to be topless.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
