When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
