____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize