do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
