Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Four minutes until I can fart!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
