Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
