well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
