I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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