Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
