Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
