i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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