Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Panties = found
Randomize
