I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
