I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
