u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
