I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
