Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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