So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This baby is an asshole
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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