one might say we're banned from that church
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
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I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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