im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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