Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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