But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
