Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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