Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's never too late to be topless.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
