A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
