Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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