is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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