Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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