using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
