I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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