Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
