I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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