can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
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I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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