i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
