First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
