do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize