I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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