If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
