so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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