I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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