hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
