Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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