How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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