Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
