You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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