I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize