If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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