He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
